We all carry a metaphorical stress bucket which fills up with the various things that cause us stress and worry. Everyone’s ‘bucket’ has a different capacity, and in fact yours will change throughout your life. We can all cope with a surprising amount as long as we use it correctly… and here lies the problem. So many of us no longer listen to our body, so without realising it we end up allowing our ‘bucket’ to get too full and therefore become ill with chronic stress.
By understanding how our stress bucket works, and how we can strengthen it is a great way to start your stress management journey – so here is a quick exercise to get you started:
Step 1:
Draw a bucket and write in it all the things that cause you stress, currently and/or regularly. Notice how many things there are (you may be surprised) and then consider in the past what other things have historically been in your bucket. Often people attribute stress to just one thing – but the reality is there are lots of things in your bucket at any one time… what you are noticing is usually the one that is taking up the most worry at that time.
Step 2:
Now draw, somewhere on the side of your bucket, a small tap. Where exactly this is depending on how resilient you are – if you are particularly resilient it will be up near the top of the bucket.
Step 3:
The most common way to ‘drain’ our bucket (reduce stress) is to spend time and energy on resolving the things that cause us stress – but look at your list – is it possible to resolve everything? Are some of those things out of your control? Even if you resolve them now, what is the likelihood of them coming back? Look at your list again and identify which ones you can actually take action on yourself.
Step 4:
This is THE most important step – you now need to change focus. Rather than trying to ‘drain’ your bucket, what you need to focus on is how to make the bucket stronger, the tap more effective. In effect, how to improve your ability to cope with things?
Outside the bucket write down all the strategies you currently use to ‘de-stress’. The easiest ones to identify are the ones you often say to yourself when feeling overwhelmed: “I need an early night”, “I need chocolate”, “I need a holiday” etc. etc.
Then identify others that either you’ve used in the past (and stopped using – possibly because you thought you had no time) and new ones you’d like to try. These could be anything at all, hobbies, time out, spending time with certain people, watching comedies, meditating, listening to music, reading, gardening, exercising, going for a walk, writing, candles, bubble bath…. The list is endless. You have to think about what works for you.
Step 5:
Next time you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed – look at your list and make sure you are doing enough of the things outside the bucket. This should be your priority (as important as brushing your teeth). What this will do will put you in a much more resourceful state and enable you to see solutions easier for the things currently in your bucket. It also helps clear your mind, empowers you and enables you to develop the strength to throw out some of the things in the bucket, so they no longer cause you stress. What are you waiting for?
FusionHR supports wellbeing programmes to improve mental health and stressfor employees. We can provide counselling, CBT and NLP therapy support services. We also offer a direct referral to a physician allowing immediate access to a qualified GP who specialises in Occupational Health management. From the point of referral, we are often able (with employee consent for immediate release to management) to hold a consultation with the employee and generate a report back to management within a week. There are no hidden costs and no discharge or administration fees. If you would like to know more about our service, or need any guidance, help or information, please get in touch with one of the team by calling 01924 827869.
This blog was written by Nicky Lloyd Greame, founder of The Stress Specialist at https://www.thestressspecialist.com
